Improve your critical thinking skills with this one question: Is that really true?

Two things I hear this week sent me into unexpected spirals. The first was coaching related, and the second was feeding children related, but both benefited from my (sometimes inconvenient) habit of questioning conventional wisdom.

Let me share the stories with you and then we’ll talk about how this applies to your business.

Story 1: Coaching vs. Therapy

Listening to a podcast about coaching, a well-respected coach said something like “Therapy is about how you became who you are, and coaching is about who you are becoming.” My first reaction was “Cool! I’ve gotta write that one down!” But then after a few minutes I became beyond frustrated because that’s not true at all. Yeah, it was a nice pithy little phrase, but I don’t think many therapists would agree with that, and as a coach I certainly don’t buy it. 

Coaches don’t dwell on the past, but it’s critically important that we uncover what worked and what didn’t work for the client previously so we can support them moving forward. And everything the client is today, their successes and failures, stem from habits and beliefs they’ve picked up during their entire life. If we take away that knowledge, we take away an essential resource. 

And I seriously doubt that therapists don’t care about who their patient is becoming. What would be the point of therapy if it didn’t have implications on the present and the future?

Story 2: Feeding Children

A well-meaning family member heard an interview that said, “feed your kids as soon as they get home from school to reduce snacking and to have happier kids”. Want to know a sure-fire way to piss off a parent? Tell them this. 

I have a list of six rebuttals to this, and I’m sure if you’re a parent you can guess most of them, especially if you also work. But to save you the rant and save me from getting worked up about it again, my response was “awesome, come over and cook dinner any time you want.”

If I had taken that advice as fact, I would be bending myself over backwards to follow it (or getting takeout every night), making myself less happy and probably stress-snacking in the meantime!

Disagreement is Good (most of the time)

As annoying as it may be for those around you, disagreeing with things can be a good thing. When you agree with everything or take things at face value, you aren’t critically evaluating it to see if it’s true or if it could work for you. Disagreeing with something (or at least pausing to question it) allows you to formulate your own opinion and maybe even make something better than when it started. 

In business, critical thinking is one of your most important skills. We need to think critically about what will work for our own business, not just blindly accept and follow what works for other people. We even need to assess if what someone says is working for their business is actually working the way they say it is. Marketing can mask a lot of disfunction and often doesn’t share the whole truth.

This is Especially Important for Business Owners with ADHD (or if you aren’t a neurotypical white man)

If you have ADHD, you need to be especially thoughtful about questioning the status quo. You may be surrounded by people who do things one way (maybe a more typical way) but when you try it you get frustrated and feel like a failure. Likely you just need to make sure it’s compatible with the way you work best, being kind to yourself in the process.

A few years back I was coaching in a program for someone else (a white man) and one of our clients was a Black woman. She was brave enough to share with me that she couldn’t possibly follow the sales script she was being taught by him because it simply would not come across the same way for her as it would a white man. Her radar was fine-tuned out of necessity and had to filter everything she learned in that program through her lived experiences.

What could business be like if you thought more critically?

Listen, of course we can’t question absolutely everything. We would drive ourselves nuts and we would be wildly unproductive. Not to mention, we need trust in our lives to function as humans. But I’m willing to bet you could be more effective in your business by asking a few strategic questions. See if any of these help get you started:

• What do I believe to be true about my clients? 
• Am I doing any marketing that I’ve been told should be effective but I’m not seeing the results?
• Are my clients getting the results they want to be getting?
• What assumptions am I making about my working hours/time and my work/life balance?
• Does my business model make the most sense for my goals?

Then ask – “Is it really true?” And “Is it true, for me?”

For example:

• I can’t work less…if I do, I will lose clients and my income will go down
• I need to post on social media every day or no one will find me
• Short-form video is the best way to market myself
• It’s normal for my assistant to miss deadlines and make mistakes
• I have to do all the work myself because that’s what the client is paying for
• If I want to be more productive, I really should start time blocking
• My business model has to be this way because it’s the way it has always been done in this industry

The answer might be YES! It is true for me! And that is completely okay. But the answer could also be “no” or “I don’t know”.

If that question is tricky, you can also ask “When is it not true?” That will help you find the exceptions, and in turn help you come to an answer.

Another good place to look are long-standing beliefs in your industry. For example, I wrote an article awhile back about clients being uncoachable and another one about free coaching.

Only You Know the Answer

Maybe that’s another pithy phrase you can question. What I mean is that even if you’re working with a business coach, they don’t have the answer for you. Through some questioning, research, and internal investigating, you will be able to discern the answer for yourself. Other people have opinions, but only you can decide what is best for you and your business.

This concept is at the core of how I work and do business. It’s why you’ll often hear me say things like “permission to do business on your own terms” or “permission to do less”. We are raised to follow authority figures, keep your head down, do what you’re told, and it will all work out. Well, that’s not the way it works in business. It’s certainly not the way it works if you want to have a lifestyle that’s right for you and a business that meets more than just your financial needs. 

In fact, it’s the core principle of The Happy Squirrel Collective: an ADHD-friendly, online community for business owners who want to get shit done their own way. Pop over for a visit and see if it’s right for you!

Takeaways:

• This takes practice. How can you build this into your habits?
• Look for the nuance beyond the pithy statement
• Ask yourself: Is this really true? When is it not true?
• Don’t look to others to answer these questions for your business